If I could go back and give myself some advice..

These are the coolest socks, right?!!
I mean..don't you want to tell people they chose to be grumpy..and they can at least own it..right?!!
Haha..but this got to thinking about what Christmas means to me and it may or may not surprise you to know that my feelings over Christmas has gone from either dis-like to downright hate.
I've chosen grumpy..especially over the holidays!
You can blame my childhood for that. I would assume for anyone, if you loved it as a child..you probably love it as an adult.
(I could be wrong..but, based on who I've known that love Christmas..I'm going to stick with my assumption..!)
I can probably back it up a bit and start my downfall in November. Yeah, since I have a birthday the week before Thanksgiving, it would start the holiday off with an extreme hatred.
Over the years, I've learned to mask it well or ignore it and really try to enjoy it through my children the best I can.
Honestly, I never really put much thought into it, other than the fact that mine was just crappy as a kid!
Having gone through what I went through with my son put me over the edge in the hating category the first few years of Christmas with him.
Not his fault..poor kid.
I can only hope we've made it as joyous as we could over the years..!
Recently a friend of mine asked if I had prayed over it..and that got me to think. No..or maybe..and I don't think I had! Could I have a little bit of a curse over this season?!
I'm talking cursed by me. And how my emotions have held me back from enjoying what this holiday means for me, my kids and others around me.
I've been simmering with this these past few weeks. I of course prayed over it. I think I want the freedom to enjoy this holiday..unashamedly, unapologetically, and with the most joy I can muster..!
Boy..if only I could go back and tell my younger self some things...!
If I could..these would be a few things I'd say...! (I'd tell them to you, too, if you were sitting next to me..and needing to hear it!)

1. You are worthy of love. You are worth every gift you are given..without feeling guilty that you don't deserve it. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of everything good that comes from above. Some of you need to hear that, too..and you are!

2. You are enough. This world will never be happy with Hollywood..and they'll never be happy with you. There will always be something good you can say to people. They may not see your words as a gift, they may throw it with the wind, but you tell them anyways. Your words matter. Your words can help someone through difficult times. Your words can show your love.

3. Love anyways. Don't hate people because they have been what you would call "more blessed" than you. I will be honest here, that is nearly everyone..excluding the homeless lady on the streets. Nearly everyone I meet has parents that love them, visit them, are included in their lives, send normal seasonal holiday cards..especially birthday. I don't..but it's ok..they love in their own way..deep down..they do. You are loved by the people that count. Draw them in, pull them closer, and let go of the comparison.

4. God has never left you. As the seasons of my life has turned every steep corner and when it has felt like I've taken a long journey up a mountain, I've often wondered were God was in the midst of it all. But here is the truth, just because you don't feel his presence, doesn't mean he is not there. He didn't leave you to suffer alone, he meant it to strengthen you. Your strength will come at a time when you have decided you can't. take. another. step. And then you do. You will then take your hand and reach back and grab another's hand.

These are all that I have time for at the moment, but what would you go back and tell yourself? I would love to hear it!

I wish you all a wonderful and joyful Christmas.
And I actually mean it this year!!