the power of vulnerability..!!
I watched this video this a.m. and it was sort of a release of my soul. I have been leaning into this thought lately..but, without the real ability to put my thoughts into words. It's a good 20 minute video..but, it's worth every single minute of watching.
Brené Brown – The Power of Vulnerability
My husband asked me a few weeks ago, why I haven't been blogging.
I just chuckled at that thought, because I figured he would think I talk enough to him!!
I don't really know what answer I had..but, in my heart I knew why.
I felt like I blogged too much about autism, shared too much of my heart..and that frankly, people were kind of tired of hearing about both.
It could still be true.
But, that thought bothered me..made my head spin and then I felt like the way I felt was pretty irrelevant. I'm a mom with a son on the spectrum, my first, and the pain that has caused has pushed me into a group of "outsiders" of moms. This group of moms, which by the way none of us chose to be in, feel cheated..have a sarcastic undertone in parenting..and quite frankly have to put up with dear, dear, friends who have children who are, to us moms, everything we always wanted and hoped for..but didn't have!!
And it wasn't something I felt like I should be writing about..but did..and it left me wondering if I left the impression on people that I was just a whiney person, crumbled on the mass of circumstances that life has left me.
And to be honest, I wanted to write something RELEVANT.
And then I saw this..and it's more of a confirmation that maybe...just maybe..people don't want to hear about our accolades and first place ribbon achievements. People want to hear about our vulnerabilites and how to relate and connect with us.
People also have to be taught how to help us..if in fact we are willing to let them.
In the video she mentions that vulnerablity can be the birthplace of love and joy.
So true..
Lately, when I'm turned upside down with kids and all the thoughts I carry on a daily basis, I keep thinking of my daughter when she wakes up in the morning and gives me the most deepest, embracing hug..so warm and beautiful..the kind of hug that truly embraces and fully satisfies as a person who loves a good hug!! And I keep wondering if she was sent to me for that!! As if somehow I'm the child in her arms..!!
And then I think of my son, when I tell him that if he wants the ipad, he must first give me a kiss. So, he comes over and turns on the "kissing machine" which he has fun kissing me over and over again with a huge smile on his face.
Beautiful..pure joy..!!
And I wouldn't have ever known this joy..unless I made the choice to live life..to make sacrifices and to be vulnerable.
And that is my answer to people who've decided not to have children because they don't want to deal with all the hardships and sacrifices of it. Or to anyone who has been so numbed by life that it really scares them to move forward or their stuck in a place of discontent, shame and fear.
To be really honest, all those things-being discontent, feeling shame and fear..will follow you all over life..it will always be an option-irregardless if you choose to live your life with passion or if you choose the road of "safe travels".
What makes life worth living..is the hardships that you face and how deeply you love.
When you realize in the moment that everytime you give your heart and open yourself up to others..that God is present.
He is present, even though that person didn't accept your open-heartedness..or they even rejected you in the process..he is there.
And he will catch you when you are feeling so angry that you let yourself be open and vulnerable and even tell yourself that "I'm sick to death of making new friends..it's too hard!!"..he will show you that it was important to him..and that is, in fact, RELEVANT.
It's a chance to step outside of yourself..with courage ..and then in the small wonders of life..find joy in the struggles.
I hope this is something that speaks to you..but, even if not..it speaks to me..! :)
Brené Brown – The Power of Vulnerability
My husband asked me a few weeks ago, why I haven't been blogging.
I just chuckled at that thought, because I figured he would think I talk enough to him!!
I don't really know what answer I had..but, in my heart I knew why.
I felt like I blogged too much about autism, shared too much of my heart..and that frankly, people were kind of tired of hearing about both.
It could still be true.
But, that thought bothered me..made my head spin and then I felt like the way I felt was pretty irrelevant. I'm a mom with a son on the spectrum, my first, and the pain that has caused has pushed me into a group of "outsiders" of moms. This group of moms, which by the way none of us chose to be in, feel cheated..have a sarcastic undertone in parenting..and quite frankly have to put up with dear, dear, friends who have children who are, to us moms, everything we always wanted and hoped for..but didn't have!!
And it wasn't something I felt like I should be writing about..but did..and it left me wondering if I left the impression on people that I was just a whiney person, crumbled on the mass of circumstances that life has left me.
And to be honest, I wanted to write something RELEVANT.
And then I saw this..and it's more of a confirmation that maybe...just maybe..people don't want to hear about our accolades and first place ribbon achievements. People want to hear about our vulnerabilites and how to relate and connect with us.
People also have to be taught how to help us..if in fact we are willing to let them.
In the video she mentions that vulnerablity can be the birthplace of love and joy.
So true..
Lately, when I'm turned upside down with kids and all the thoughts I carry on a daily basis, I keep thinking of my daughter when she wakes up in the morning and gives me the most deepest, embracing hug..so warm and beautiful..the kind of hug that truly embraces and fully satisfies as a person who loves a good hug!! And I keep wondering if she was sent to me for that!! As if somehow I'm the child in her arms..!!
And then I think of my son, when I tell him that if he wants the ipad, he must first give me a kiss. So, he comes over and turns on the "kissing machine" which he has fun kissing me over and over again with a huge smile on his face.
Beautiful..pure joy..!!
And I wouldn't have ever known this joy..unless I made the choice to live life..to make sacrifices and to be vulnerable.
And that is my answer to people who've decided not to have children because they don't want to deal with all the hardships and sacrifices of it. Or to anyone who has been so numbed by life that it really scares them to move forward or their stuck in a place of discontent, shame and fear.
To be really honest, all those things-being discontent, feeling shame and fear..will follow you all over life..it will always be an option-irregardless if you choose to live your life with passion or if you choose the road of "safe travels".
What makes life worth living..is the hardships that you face and how deeply you love.
When you realize in the moment that everytime you give your heart and open yourself up to others..that God is present.
He is present, even though that person didn't accept your open-heartedness..or they even rejected you in the process..he is there.
And he will catch you when you are feeling so angry that you let yourself be open and vulnerable and even tell yourself that "I'm sick to death of making new friends..it's too hard!!"..he will show you that it was important to him..and that is, in fact, RELEVANT.
It's a chance to step outside of yourself..with courage ..and then in the small wonders of life..find joy in the struggles.
I hope this is something that speaks to you..but, even if not..it speaks to me..! :)
Laura, I wish I could give you my eyes, so that you could see, for just a second how others see you. Your beauty, your courage, your openness, your love . How all of that has been an encouragement to me, in this battle we call motherhood. Keep writing as long as your soul has been given the words. When Jesus can be found on the page, and He is glorified writing can only be Good. I appreciate your love, your vulnerability and your unwillingness to be anything other than real.
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