Mastering the art of feeling lonely...

(oh, to be there right about now....!)

This is a strange topic I am about to embark on...but, I must write as I am compelled..so..here goes..!
Let me first explain to you that I happen to be an introvert. Specifically an ambivert, because I do..very much enjoy talking to people, but boy do I enjoy the heck out of being alone..most of the time!
(I'm sending a virtual fist-bump to my fellow introverts at the moment..you get me..sometimes..!!)
And as an introvert, I often feel lonely.
This is where I have to remind you that loneliness is a feeling that is put inside of all of us.
We all have that emotion.
Yes..take a moment..remember that time you felt it..and empathize with me!!
And can we all admit that it is NOT a sign of weakness..?..!!!
I am not a sad, lonely, depressed kind of gal.
But I have felt sad at times, lonely at times and super depressed at times..pending on the weather here..lol!
(Just kidding..ok..sometimes the weather affects me..ok...maybe most of the time..but not today..today's a good day..lol!!)
;)
Lately, I have chosen (for my personal and emotional growth and healing) that I will try to name the emotions that I feel when they arise. This is only because I have tried to stifle them in the past and it has caused some disastrous outcomes!
In the past I would tell myself, "I'm not lonely, I just need to get out and go out with friends....or join a group..etc..."
There were times that may be true..but that's not the solution to loneliness.
Loneliness is not a bad thing. Pretending you are not lonely when you are, though..is.
Stuffing myself into a group of people sometimes made it worse.
I would come home feeling the most desperate kind of loneliness.
I would also feel like there was something wrong with me.
To you my introverted friends..I understand how real the struggle is.
We not only feel odd, misunderstood, and sometimes a bit off our rockers..but, the rest of the world marginalizes us, too.
Read the book "Quiet" and you might get an overall picture of just how much this America wants us to change and be extroverted.
It's like we are supposed to have a switch or something..but, I digress..thats another topic, altogether!
Extroverts..you struggle to.
You go from one social event to another..and yet you still feel it, don't you?
You have massive amounts of friends, yet you can't understand what that tug at your heart is.
I'm no expert, but this may be where a more introverted friend can balance you..or not..just a thought!!! Or..Maybe a deep "soul" conversation with your introverted friends..could help...another random thought!
We all have different motivations for having friends, too..and it needs to be something we are defining and redefining..cause some of our motivations are not that great when it comes down to making friends.
And groups..well..some, like me, get lost in a group..or I admit, I may actually hide in a group.
Some of my fellow extroverts may not get lost in a group, but get a social high in a group...and thus, you will always feel compelled to be part of a group and yet, will never develop an intimate friendship with another.
All superficial..nothing life changing. But, you'll always be surrounded by a group!!
And Facebook cheapens us..doesn't it?
I mean, some of us need a friend to just like our stuff..but, some of us introverts can never get a break, can we..? Well..because umm..we just aren't that social!!
Shocker..I know!!
All this to say that loneliness can move us to make decisions about our friendships, or even our relationships, that can bring clarity, healing and growth.
It can be a game-changer for some of us..if we let it.
And if you are a christian, we need to be very aware of what God is trying to tell us.
Often times, he will lead you into the desert for a little while (or longer), to quiet the noise and speak to your heart.
(F.Y.I..I think I might have had a separate home in the desert due to being "hard of hearing"..at times..so..it's still a struggle and very much a work in progress for me..!!!!)
So, I encourage you friends of all kinds, to take a moment and listen if that's the season you are in.
I hope you will let HIS wisdom teach you to open your heart to friends that only HE has ordained you have..instead of forcing a friendship with someone that is not right for you...maybe even at this particular season.
Some of those types of friendships (the ones we force) may even leave us more lonely..and more resentful than ever..and will make us less willing to open our hearts to making new friends..and we need good friends in our lives..!!
So, to all of you..listen to your lonely heart when it speaks to you.
And..no..you are not alone..and no..you are not crazy.
You have a right to feel lonely and it is worth it to seek answers!
Press in on it..pray through it..and use it as your greatest advantage for growth!
I pray this encourages you today..and brings hope to your soul!!