Friendship PTSD
A little disclaimer if you are the sort of person who makes friends effortlessly and are great with relationships..this will be a bore for you to read..in fact..you should probably go look at that cat video..it will be more promising!
If not, well..here goes!
So..friendship PTSD is something I just stumbled onto in the book "Never Unfriended". I'm still working on the book, but it's caused quite a bit of reflection for me as I look back over my 38 short years on this planet.
And..er..
Hi, my name is Laura, and I suffer from friendship PTSD.
This is the first step...right?!
The reason I bring this up is because I know its not just me.
I know that I've bumped into several people all along the way that have been hurt or are afraid to put themselves out there as a friend because it can be painful.
I believe my friendship issues started as a child. Most certainly as a learned behavior of not being kind to myself or ever feeling the worth of who I am and what I can bring to a friendship. That's something I've only figured out in the past few years. Most of the time, I believe I've been allowing people to treat me the way I've treated myself. Unimportant, and Irrelevant. Mostly subconsciously done, and never intentional.
The good news is that I don't think those things anymore. And lets all take a sigh of relief that I have learned to give myself pep talks, grace and more grace..and if anything, I would befriend me if I could!
The bad news is that I'm still stuck in a place of what to do with a friendship. I try to meet people for lunch or to do things with people..but I've got a bad independence problem of not ever putting my trust in people..because..well..some people usually don't come through.
I can't tell you how many lunches have I set up..only to be re-arranged over something more important for the other. Sadly, I already know if someone is going to cancel..even before I set up a date.
Anybody else out there suffering from this?
Anybody else looking for a way out?
Ok..heres a few resolutions that I've come up with...
1. I will treat myself as I would want a great friend to treat me and when I fail, I will speak kind words to myself.
2. I will pray that God will give me the right motivations for friendships to occur and allow him to bring friendships that will strengthen and encourage me along the way.
3. I will wait for God to bring those friendships into my life, and let the loneliness lead me into quiet time with him.
4. I will overcome being "stuck" and afraid.
5. I'll be ok with failure if and when it comes. 99% of it will come from learning things after I've failed.
6. I'll be open to change.
7. I'll give grace to others if they happen to reshedule, prefer other friendships to mine, and forgive even though it's painful..and let this be a time saver. If they would rather not..there are other friendships to be had..trust the process.
8. What would you add?
So..if your willing..come along side me. Pray for me. And let me know if I can pray for you.
I'm scared to.
But, I've decided to grasp onto Jesus' coat like the lady with the bleeding issues more out of a serious desperation to live a whole life and not just "halfsies". Don't you believe theres more?! I do. I believe there are far better things on the horizon..and if it helps you to know that you're not alone..well..this is proof that I got your back!
Believe it or not, I write these blogs because I'm wondering if I'm seriously writing anything that cries out to people. Since I have the personality trait is only a mere 1% of the population, I have this constant nagging feeling that I'm not writing anything that someone hasn't heard, hasn't already dealt with, or even anything revolutionary..all because I don't see the world like the average person does. Then theres that tiny spark in me that says maybe I see the world differently to help others better understand it..and I'm learning to believe and trust that maybe..just maybe..it's true.
So, if this speaks to you..seek me out and tell me..or let me know somehow..will you?!
And until next time..take care of you! ;)
If not, well..here goes!
So..friendship PTSD is something I just stumbled onto in the book "Never Unfriended". I'm still working on the book, but it's caused quite a bit of reflection for me as I look back over my 38 short years on this planet.
And..er..
Hi, my name is Laura, and I suffer from friendship PTSD.
This is the first step...right?!
The reason I bring this up is because I know its not just me.
I know that I've bumped into several people all along the way that have been hurt or are afraid to put themselves out there as a friend because it can be painful.
I believe my friendship issues started as a child. Most certainly as a learned behavior of not being kind to myself or ever feeling the worth of who I am and what I can bring to a friendship. That's something I've only figured out in the past few years. Most of the time, I believe I've been allowing people to treat me the way I've treated myself. Unimportant, and Irrelevant. Mostly subconsciously done, and never intentional.
The good news is that I don't think those things anymore. And lets all take a sigh of relief that I have learned to give myself pep talks, grace and more grace..and if anything, I would befriend me if I could!
The bad news is that I'm still stuck in a place of what to do with a friendship. I try to meet people for lunch or to do things with people..but I've got a bad independence problem of not ever putting my trust in people..because..well..some people usually don't come through.
I can't tell you how many lunches have I set up..only to be re-arranged over something more important for the other. Sadly, I already know if someone is going to cancel..even before I set up a date.
Anybody else out there suffering from this?
Anybody else looking for a way out?
Ok..heres a few resolutions that I've come up with...
1. I will treat myself as I would want a great friend to treat me and when I fail, I will speak kind words to myself.
2. I will pray that God will give me the right motivations for friendships to occur and allow him to bring friendships that will strengthen and encourage me along the way.
3. I will wait for God to bring those friendships into my life, and let the loneliness lead me into quiet time with him.
4. I will overcome being "stuck" and afraid.
5. I'll be ok with failure if and when it comes. 99% of it will come from learning things after I've failed.
6. I'll be open to change.
7. I'll give grace to others if they happen to reshedule, prefer other friendships to mine, and forgive even though it's painful..and let this be a time saver. If they would rather not..there are other friendships to be had..trust the process.
8. What would you add?
So..if your willing..come along side me. Pray for me. And let me know if I can pray for you.
I'm scared to.
But, I've decided to grasp onto Jesus' coat like the lady with the bleeding issues more out of a serious desperation to live a whole life and not just "halfsies". Don't you believe theres more?! I do. I believe there are far better things on the horizon..and if it helps you to know that you're not alone..well..this is proof that I got your back!
Believe it or not, I write these blogs because I'm wondering if I'm seriously writing anything that cries out to people. Since I have the personality trait is only a mere 1% of the population, I have this constant nagging feeling that I'm not writing anything that someone hasn't heard, hasn't already dealt with, or even anything revolutionary..all because I don't see the world like the average person does. Then theres that tiny spark in me that says maybe I see the world differently to help others better understand it..and I'm learning to believe and trust that maybe..just maybe..it's true.
So, if this speaks to you..seek me out and tell me..or let me know somehow..will you?!
And until next time..take care of you! ;)
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