I think I make terrible first impressions.
It's that, or I might not be very likeable...or both!!
I see the struggle in some women..whether or not to like me. And, I cannot explain why..nor will I try..or even pretend it doesn't bother me. But, in all honesty, this old dog is a strange breed!!
I've had several people over the years apologize for their behavior upon first meeting me..a few bosses, too..so, I'm not making this up.
Scott laughs when I go out with a group of women that I don't know well. He always says, "laura, you be careful...". And, I know exactly what he means. He knows that women have no trouble being a little ugly to me for reasons of their own. He also knows where I've come from..my childhood, my struggles over the years..he know how much people have hurt me with rejecting me. And, he also knows, truthfully, that I would never treat people this way..not even on my worst days. He knows people have accused me of being judgmental, and he thinks it's hilarious. He has said "I can't believe people would think that about you, you don't even think like that..they don't know you at all!"
He also thinks I am too liberal with admitting my faults.
Agreed, sweetheart..agreed!!
For most of my adult life I have tried to blame it on myself. Nowadays, I know it's really not me. I know somehow, someway, that people are living in more "fear" than they realize..and for most people that I meet like this..it's clearly evident in everything they say or do.
At this point I just have to be content with being me.
My argument to people at this point at my almost 32 year life is, people please..don't make up reasons to dislike me..I'll give you a list of good ones that are actually true..!
And the beat goes on.
It's that, or I might not be very likeable...or both!!
I see the struggle in some women..whether or not to like me. And, I cannot explain why..nor will I try..or even pretend it doesn't bother me. But, in all honesty, this old dog is a strange breed!!
I've had several people over the years apologize for their behavior upon first meeting me..a few bosses, too..so, I'm not making this up.
Scott laughs when I go out with a group of women that I don't know well. He always says, "laura, you be careful...". And, I know exactly what he means. He knows that women have no trouble being a little ugly to me for reasons of their own. He also knows where I've come from..my childhood, my struggles over the years..he know how much people have hurt me with rejecting me. And, he also knows, truthfully, that I would never treat people this way..not even on my worst days. He knows people have accused me of being judgmental, and he thinks it's hilarious. He has said "I can't believe people would think that about you, you don't even think like that..they don't know you at all!"
He also thinks I am too liberal with admitting my faults.
Agreed, sweetheart..agreed!!
For most of my adult life I have tried to blame it on myself. Nowadays, I know it's really not me. I know somehow, someway, that people are living in more "fear" than they realize..and for most people that I meet like this..it's clearly evident in everything they say or do.
At this point I just have to be content with being me.
My argument to people at this point at my almost 32 year life is, people please..don't make up reasons to dislike me..I'll give you a list of good ones that are actually true..!
And the beat goes on.
When I first met you I love how sweet and easy to talk to you were. I have never had a bad impression of you since meeting you at MOPS. I actually miss all of my friends that I made in FL.
ReplyDeleteWe all have gone through this and it could be worst. My ex in-laws got a bad first impression of me and it stuck with them. Even to this day, after being divorced two years. But people do see the error of their judgement and apologize. And I'm waiting for that day, which may never happen, with my ex in-laws. I have however have forgiven them for that and for other things.
As long as you continue to be Christ-like in everything you do like raising your beautiful children and being a loving wife, the Lord will work wonders for you. The one thing that helped me and I hope it works for you is knowing we are all Children of God. That he loves us unconditionally.
I love how your sweetheart supports you and boosts your confidence.